Tag: vanity fair

Feb 18, 2015 | 8:15 PM

Baring it all on the Red Carpet: A Trip Down Mammary Lane

I usually watch red carpet events with my favorite gossipy crew (Merton, Tabitha and Cricket) who all feel perfectly comfortable saying the things many of us think, but might not actually utter for fear of being perceived as a "hater." "Girlfriend is taking the title of the show to heart!" I remember Merton saying when Mariah showed up at the Golden Globes with two golden globes of her own. "Poor little starlet. Could she not afford more material?" Tabitha said when the (more…)

Feb 25, 2015 | 4:02 PM

10 Ways to Get Noticed in a Crowd

1. WEAR A DEAD SWAN 2. WEAR YOUR SUNROOM CURTAIN PANELS HELD TOGETHER WITH A PIN AT THE CROTCH  3. GIVE "SKIRT STEAK" A NEW MEANING 4. LOOK GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT 5. DRESS LIKE A CONSTRUCTION SITE 6. WEAR YOUR FEATHER DUSTER 7. DRESS LIKE ONE OF THE CHARACTERS FROM MY LITTLE BOOBIE-- I MEANT, MY LITTLE PONY 8. PREPARE FOR BATTLE: WEAR CHAIN MAILLE  9. EDGE OUT THE COMPETITION. LITERALLY. 10. BECOME AN ENDANGERED SPECIES Feel free to post (more…)