These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ (or are they?)

Last night, after a glorious day spent fasting in temple (my cheekbones were positively popping by sundown!), I went to my girlfriend, Tabitha’s home on Park Avenue, to break the fast.

Tabitha does everything in style so I was not the least bit surprised to find her gorgeous duplex festooned with seasonal dahliahs, pumpkins, ears of corn and a table laden with enough smoked fish to satiate a 30-ton seal. But what really made me take extra notice was Tabitha’s footwear.

God bless that Tabitha! As she herself put it, “If you’re going to atone, may as well atone in style!”

First of all, let me identify those boots: they’re Pucci from last season (2013), not to be confused with the pair Tabitha just bought this season (2014) pictured below:

I asked Tabitha if she put her Puccis on just to walk into temple (like I usually do with  my high heels) and then put them back on just to host her party (like I usually do) but she swears she wore them all day! She said she feels like a warrior in them and that she needed that extra strength to get her through the arduous task of atoning (God only knows what she needs to atone for since all that woman eats is kale and all she does all day long is yoga, raise her kids, and donate money to good causes. She’s practically a saint barefoot!). But anyway, there you have it: Tabitha’s mind set.

“Don’t your feet get tired?” I asked, eager to know her secret.

“Never,” she said. “These boots were made for walkin’!” And with that, she sashayed down her entry hallway to greet more of her guests.

The funny thing is that if you actually look at the boots that launched that phrase, you’ll notice that the heel is a sensible height and a sensible make.

When Nancy wasn’t actually performing, I noticed the heel got a little higher:

In general, if you look at go-go boots from the era they came from, they truly ARE meant for walking:

Boots have been around for a really long time. Historically worn by goddesses and knights (who needed all the support and protection they could get while they ran after foes), boots have long been valued for the extra “kaboom” they give their wearer. Look at Robin Hood’s boots on the book cover of the edition I grew up with:

Robin Hood is kicking some serious butt in those boots! But is Kim Kardashian moving with the same power and agility in her version of them?

This recent sketch of the Greek Goddess Athena, goddess of wisdom and war, shows her in flat sandals.

So when, and why, did the fashion powers that be add on the heel height? Rita Ora, performing during Paris fashion week, has to look like a goddess and pretend to move like one, but in 4 inch stilettos! YOU try it! It ain’t easy!

When did women have to start looking both fierce and simultaneously barely be able to move quickly without jeopardizing more than one body part?

I liked Kinky Boots as much as anyone, and applauded with all my heart when Cyndi and Billy Porter won their well-deserved Tony Awards. But I’m wondering what Billy Porter and the rest of the cast does to protect their bodies from the difficulties presented by those wonderful and truly kinky boots.

The truth is, high-heeled boots unleash a tangle of fabulous fantasies for everyone — for the wearer, for the viewer, even for children, for God’s sakes. As a performer myself, I know I look better in heels even though I don’t have as good balance and am often forced to lay on ice the day after a show.

It’s a conundrum.

I’ve posted about boots before and I’ve shared this anxiety before. I don’t often ask for your input these days. I don’t want to burden anyone, or ask you to write to me on some false social media pretext of “calling you to action.” But I truly would like to know what you think about women in high-heeled boots.

In the meantime, I’m going to take lessons from Tabitha on how to rise above the discomfort of high-rise footwear! And if you can pass along the name of a great reflexologist, I’d also be most grateful.

xo,

Isabel